1. Mutuality
If you want to be like someone then you must find out what they do and recognize what you do that is similar. Recognize what you do that is different and change. If you realize that you do not have to reinvent the wheel things get easier. If one person has been able to do something then we can figure out how to do it for ourselves. Now I am not saying everyone can be Michael Jordan, there are physical limitations but if you have the skill set and the physical ability then you can replicate the achievements of others. The book by Napoleon Hill called Think and Grow Rich is a perfect example of this. Mr. Hill spent over 20 years interviewing the captains of industry to determine the keys to their success. Many people have used his book as a guide to success.
2. Future Perspective
What if you could develop enough wealth so that your family would be taken care of for generations? You ask yourself a question with the future you desire in mind. Then you act with the end in mind. You take actions that move you closer to this goal. It is the idea of increasing your drive, desire, anticipation and faith. It is a way to continuously raise the bar and challenge yourself.
3. Guarantee.
What if you were guaranteed to succeed at whatever you did? What would you try? You are guaranteed to fail if you don’t try, so how do we know we will not succeed if we do not try. I like to think of this one in this sense of acting as if failure is not an option. What would you do? How motivated would you be? Keenan Ivory Wayans tells a great story of this in the DVD The Black List. He tells the story of when he was starting out as a writer and director. His parents wanted him to go to school. They wanted him to go to school so he had a “back up” plan. Keenan Wayans said that he knew if he had to survive without a “net” or back up plan he would be more motivated and he would have to succeed because he had no choice. It worked for him and it is a principle that will work for you.
4. Support
What if you had all the support you needed to do anything you wanted? What would you do? It has happened to me time and again and you hear accounts from many successful people of the same thing. When you start out on the path you may not know how you will complete the journey but the information that you need and the support you need, will show up. This book is a perfect example of this phenomenon. As I started to write the information and the people necessary for its completion showed up right on time. It got to the point where I just began to expect it. Books I had in my library for years all of a sudden had the bit of information I was looking for. Friends I had not seen in years showed up with expertise in areas I needed help in. New friendships were developed that allowed me to get the information and guidance I needed for certain chapters. It sounds coincidental but it is not.
“The universe responds to your vibrations” Wayne Dyer.
5. Motion
What if you had to do something? Guess what you do. You are going to do something whether you like it or not. Why not do something you like, and you choose! Shape your life to be how you want it. I know that goes against popular movies and politics, but you can do this. It has been done by many others and is being done this moment by many more. It can be you too if you choose.
6. Mortality.
What if someone was going to die? Would you do it then? Well guess what, the truth of the matter is you are going to die at some point. We are all going to die at some point and none of us knows the hour or the day. Don’t wait until it is too late. When I say too late I mean when you are dead. If you are breathing it is not too late. I call my mother on a weekly basis and my step father answers the phone sometimes. I always ask him how he is doing and he always says “I’m still breathing.” If you are still breathing, you can change your life. If you are reading this book it is not too late!
7. Pleasure
What if it would bring you great pleasure? It will bring you pleasure beyond your imagination to have the life you have dreamed of but refused to go after for fear of disappointment. To have the success and joy of living a life that is congruent with who you truly are. Confucius has a saying that goes something like this “A man who loves his work will never work another day in his life.” That is what reading this book and making the improvements can do for you. It can bring you in contact with the life you have felt you should be living.
8. Positivity.
What if you could only think of the positives involved with changing your life? I am not asking you to ignore the negatives. It is ok to weigh them into the total equation but what is going to get you off your but and moving are thoughts of the rewards. Better yet thoughts of the emotions connected to the rewards. What would it feel like to not have to worry about how the bills are going to be paid? To not worry about whether your relationship is secure. To know you are moving in a direction that will not only bring you success and joy but it will provide an example for those you love to follow so that they may achieve their goals and dreams.
These are my eight Pillars for change. They are the foundation to producing positive changes in your life. They have motivated me and kept me going when I was discouraged. I know they can help you too. Post them somewhere prominent as you read through the rest of the book. Refer to it often and create your own pillars. Personalize the list to apply to your current situation. It is you life. Take charge of it and be amazed by what happens!
Affirmation
I know now that I have access to all the resources I need in order to achieve all that I desire!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Getting out of Survival Mode
All of us have been there at one point and time. Survival mode or the survival mind cycle is short sighted, myopic and ego centered. It is full of doubt and fear. It is that place and time when you are simply waiting for the other shoe to fall. Some people like to say they are preparing for the worst. It is the idea of the cup being half empty. In survival mode you can not understand the higher stages of development.
This became clear to me in my life and as I attempted to help others. They would get frustrated because I was trying to explain how identifying ones true identity is necessary to build a strong foundation. I would also try to get the person beyond the crisis at hand and thinking about who they truly were or wanted to be. I tried to convince people that if they discovered and developed their lives so that they were living in congruence with who they really were, all the trivial things and issues would get taken care of in the process. I did this to no avail because if you are on the survival mind cycle you could care less about developing your true identity. It is like trying to teach a baby to drive. They do not have the capacity mentally or physically to do it. This is not meant to demean anyone it is a fact. If you are unemployed and struggling to pay rent it is very difficult to convince you that you should discover your true identity.
I also noticed that when we discussed solutions to these crisis situations the person was more open to the higher development topics. With this in mind I decided that information is the key. Many people are not ready for this lesson at the beginning but hopefully by the end you will be. You must get out of survival mode to go to the next level. The next level is full of self discovery. It is freedom from the cycle of survival mode.
In order to get out of the survival mode try this process. First you must have the DESIRE to get out of survival mode. This sounds simple for who would want to stay in survival mode? Lots of people! If you don’t know any better or it is comfortable for you, then you may want to stay here just for those reasons. It is amazing what a person can get used to! This is not an automatic thought you must honesty desire to get out of this cycle.
Next, you must have an OPEN MIND. This means you must believe it is possible to live without constantly worrying about what is going to go wrong. Napolean Hill refers to it as PMA (positive mental attitude). Viktor Frankl refers to it as expecting a positive outcome. I highly suggest either one of these authors, but I will get to that in the next step. Do not limit your thoughts to what could go wrong. Spend some time worrying about what could go right. I have a saying and it goes like this: “Some people would rather be right and unhappy than wrong and happy, don’t be like some people!” This means instead of setting high goals and getting disappointed (but moving forward) we would rather not get our expectations too high or expect the worse and be right when things go wrong. Can you see how this sets the wheels in motion for this survival mind cycle I am referring to?
Third you must have the KNOWLEDGE that you can overcome whatever challenges life throws your way. Knowledge includes getting the information you need and taking action. If you need more motivation get a book. I have suggested two authors above and there are many more great ones out there. In my book I refer to statements or affirmations that let you begin to acknowledge your new mindset. These are statements like. I know now that I can overcome any situation. I know now that I will do whatever it takes to improve my relationships. These are just two examples.
Now you are the DOK-tor (Desire, Open minded and Knowledge).
To make it even easier you take each issue or crisis and break it down into Big (Macro) actions and Little (Micro) actions. I suggest you do this as follows.
MACRO MICRO
Under the Macro list you put your Big picture goal. It could be anything from getting a new job to improving your relationship with your spouse or children. Under the micro section put four little things you can do that would help you in the achievement of your Macro goal. Now, give the four things a number from hardest thing to easiest (1 being the hardest). Do number four first, since it is the easiest. As number four becomes routine you drop it off the list and add another item so you have four. Then do number four again. Nothing in this precludes you from doing more than one thing from your micro list at a time. You will find you are moving closer and closer to your goal with each action.
No one but you needs to know about your list if you do not wish to share. You must look at your list at least three times a day at the beginning. Do not get down on yourself if you do not do it everyday or get it right. The idea is to do your best.
Analyze what you have accomplished each day and work to get better and better every day. Matter of fact; tell yourself “everyday in every way I will get better and better” (Jose Silva Method).
Here is an example:
Macro
Getting a Job.
Micro
I can get up at 7am like I had a job. Do what I would do if I was going to work to get ready then go look for a job. (2)
Talk to people employers about getting a job. Networking groups are great for this. Most jobs are gotten through networking (Cheryl Richardson). (3)
Get information. Read a book/ blog for motivation or ideas. Napolean Hill Think and Grow Rich or Stephen Covey Seven Habits of Highly Effective People are but two possibilities. (4)
Learn a new skill. Take a class to enhance your marketability. (1)
In this example you would start with getting information. Personalizes it and make it your own these are only guidelines. If you can do all four things then do it, it will only speed up the process of realizing your goal and getting you off the survival mind cycle.
You will be surprised at how little things become big things eventually. It is amazing how much simpler big problem seem if you break them down into little steps. This is no secret we have all done it before, we just need a little reminding. This is your reminder. After you get this down we will get into the discovery of your true identity!
This became clear to me in my life and as I attempted to help others. They would get frustrated because I was trying to explain how identifying ones true identity is necessary to build a strong foundation. I would also try to get the person beyond the crisis at hand and thinking about who they truly were or wanted to be. I tried to convince people that if they discovered and developed their lives so that they were living in congruence with who they really were, all the trivial things and issues would get taken care of in the process. I did this to no avail because if you are on the survival mind cycle you could care less about developing your true identity. It is like trying to teach a baby to drive. They do not have the capacity mentally or physically to do it. This is not meant to demean anyone it is a fact. If you are unemployed and struggling to pay rent it is very difficult to convince you that you should discover your true identity.
I also noticed that when we discussed solutions to these crisis situations the person was more open to the higher development topics. With this in mind I decided that information is the key. Many people are not ready for this lesson at the beginning but hopefully by the end you will be. You must get out of survival mode to go to the next level. The next level is full of self discovery. It is freedom from the cycle of survival mode.
In order to get out of the survival mode try this process. First you must have the DESIRE to get out of survival mode. This sounds simple for who would want to stay in survival mode? Lots of people! If you don’t know any better or it is comfortable for you, then you may want to stay here just for those reasons. It is amazing what a person can get used to! This is not an automatic thought you must honesty desire to get out of this cycle.
Next, you must have an OPEN MIND. This means you must believe it is possible to live without constantly worrying about what is going to go wrong. Napolean Hill refers to it as PMA (positive mental attitude). Viktor Frankl refers to it as expecting a positive outcome. I highly suggest either one of these authors, but I will get to that in the next step. Do not limit your thoughts to what could go wrong. Spend some time worrying about what could go right. I have a saying and it goes like this: “Some people would rather be right and unhappy than wrong and happy, don’t be like some people!” This means instead of setting high goals and getting disappointed (but moving forward) we would rather not get our expectations too high or expect the worse and be right when things go wrong. Can you see how this sets the wheels in motion for this survival mind cycle I am referring to?
Third you must have the KNOWLEDGE that you can overcome whatever challenges life throws your way. Knowledge includes getting the information you need and taking action. If you need more motivation get a book. I have suggested two authors above and there are many more great ones out there. In my book I refer to statements or affirmations that let you begin to acknowledge your new mindset. These are statements like. I know now that I can overcome any situation. I know now that I will do whatever it takes to improve my relationships. These are just two examples.
Now you are the DOK-tor (Desire, Open minded and Knowledge).
To make it even easier you take each issue or crisis and break it down into Big (Macro) actions and Little (Micro) actions. I suggest you do this as follows.
MACRO MICRO
Under the Macro list you put your Big picture goal. It could be anything from getting a new job to improving your relationship with your spouse or children. Under the micro section put four little things you can do that would help you in the achievement of your Macro goal. Now, give the four things a number from hardest thing to easiest (1 being the hardest). Do number four first, since it is the easiest. As number four becomes routine you drop it off the list and add another item so you have four. Then do number four again. Nothing in this precludes you from doing more than one thing from your micro list at a time. You will find you are moving closer and closer to your goal with each action.
No one but you needs to know about your list if you do not wish to share. You must look at your list at least three times a day at the beginning. Do not get down on yourself if you do not do it everyday or get it right. The idea is to do your best.
Analyze what you have accomplished each day and work to get better and better every day. Matter of fact; tell yourself “everyday in every way I will get better and better” (Jose Silva Method).
Here is an example:
Macro
Getting a Job.
Micro
I can get up at 7am like I had a job. Do what I would do if I was going to work to get ready then go look for a job. (2)
Talk to people employers about getting a job. Networking groups are great for this. Most jobs are gotten through networking (Cheryl Richardson). (3)
Get information. Read a book/ blog for motivation or ideas. Napolean Hill Think and Grow Rich or Stephen Covey Seven Habits of Highly Effective People are but two possibilities. (4)
Learn a new skill. Take a class to enhance your marketability. (1)
In this example you would start with getting information. Personalizes it and make it your own these are only guidelines. If you can do all four things then do it, it will only speed up the process of realizing your goal and getting you off the survival mind cycle.
You will be surprised at how little things become big things eventually. It is amazing how much simpler big problem seem if you break them down into little steps. This is no secret we have all done it before, we just need a little reminding. This is your reminder. After you get this down we will get into the discovery of your true identity!
My P.A. C. T.
I guess before I get too far into this blog I should give you my philosophy or as I like to call it My PACT.
Passionate: I am passionate about information and believe in what I write and teach.
Adamant: I am strong in my conviction to help others through the sharing of information by any means necessary. I practice what I preach and walk the walk.
Confident: I am confident that the information I have gathered will help anyone who is open and honest with themselves and others. I can't teach something I don't believe in.
Translates: All the information and ideas I will share with you will translate. That means I have tried it myself and used it to help others. Good information and good ideas have this common denominator. For the ideas to be of use they must translate to more than one situation and one person. That is my goal and I hope you will find it true. I do not expect you to take my word for it. Challenge what I say and try it for yourself. If it does not translate, let me know and dare me to try again! I Love a challenge!!
Passionate: I am passionate about information and believe in what I write and teach.
Adamant: I am strong in my conviction to help others through the sharing of information by any means necessary. I practice what I preach and walk the walk.
Confident: I am confident that the information I have gathered will help anyone who is open and honest with themselves and others. I can't teach something I don't believe in.
Translates: All the information and ideas I will share with you will translate. That means I have tried it myself and used it to help others. Good information and good ideas have this common denominator. For the ideas to be of use they must translate to more than one situation and one person. That is my goal and I hope you will find it true. I do not expect you to take my word for it. Challenge what I say and try it for yourself. If it does not translate, let me know and dare me to try again! I Love a challenge!!
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